Archive for the ‘Rants’ Category

Sleep Paralysis   Leave a comment

What types of fanfics I detest…   Leave a comment

Not much of a rant, so much as a list of fics I can’t stand to read for one reason or another – whether it be a simple, minor detail or something bigger…


  • Ron/Hermione This pairing is disgusting. Anything graphic – be it kissing or more – makes me gag and shudder in disgust, literally. I’m not joking. When I click on a story, the VERY first thing I look for is whether the author has paired these two sidekicks together. Usually, I find it very quickly, as it’s usually mentioned within the first few paragraphs or the first chapter of the fic. If I get even the slightest hint that these two are together (before Harry is involved with anyone at least – which is usually NEVER at the start of the story, sadly), then I exit out of the fic immediately and do NOT read it. I hate these two that much. The ONLY way I am able to read this pairing, is if they come much later into the fic, and after Harry has already in an Established Relationship with someone, het or slash. Also, they cannot have sex before Harry does, otherwise I exit out of the fic instantly. I’m VERY picky with this one…Top of the list for a reason!!
  • Centric-Hermione – Ugh…I cannot stand this woman. I’ve known MANY know-it-alls in my time, and every single one of them has this ‘I’m better and smarter than you’ attitude, where they go around intentionally throwing their smarts and knowledge around, just to make them look good and others stupid. I understand that being a genius is something to take pride in, but to demean others for not knowing something is something I cannot stand – and Hermione does that all the time. I especially hate the way she speaks to Ron and to an extent, Harry, like they’re complete idiots (though Ron pretty much is an idiot – she still shouldn’t speak like that to a friend). She just, all around, pisses me off. People give her way too much credit in fanfiction and even in canon. News flash, she couldn’t possibly have read EVERY BOOK IN THE DAMNED LIBRARY! Meaning, she couldn’t possibly know EVERYTHING!
  • Hermione in a relationship – Yeah…I loathe Ron/Hermione, but I also cant stand her dating anyone else. Her being paired up with Snape, Draco or any Slytherin for that matter, is simply ridiculous and should NEVER be done. Femslash is also included in the relationship/pairing thing as well. I’ll only ever read a Hermione-related fic if it’s a Harry/Hermione, and that’s only barely a Can-Do. Enough said on that.
  • Ron in a relationship – Pretty much the same deal with Hermione. Can’t stand him paired with anyone, whether it’s romantic or just PWP. I’ll only read Ron/Harry fics, but even that is something I have to be in the mood for, which isn’t too often. Apart from Percy, Ron’s the only Weasley that I won’t exclusively seek out to read and pair with Harry or anyone else.
  • Non-Centric Harry – Any fics that are not Harry-Centric, I cannot read. Only Harry/Paired with whoever, fics. If the fic doesn’t have Harry as the main focus of the story and if he’s not the main pairing, I will NOT read it.
  • Humiliate-Harry – Can’t stand when Harry is humiliated in front of a large gathering of people – the Order, students, professors, etc. I hate it when females slap him for any reason. Abuse is one thing (I like Abused-Harry fics), but when he’s just been punched or slapped for something (especially when there isn’t a real liable reason behind the hit), it pisses me off. Mostly when females do it though – like Hermione, for one, and then Ginny for the other. It’s usually those two bitches who slap him, so…yeah.
  • Graphic Side Pairings – I don’t read anything that isn’t-Harry-Centric when it comes to sex or mushy fluff (kissing, cuddling, etc.). I always scroll passed the scenes the author writes in – like Remus/Sirius, or Remus/Tonks, Neville/Luna, it doesn’t matter. Its all the same. Can’t read them. I’m for Harry-sex only, lol.
  • Harry raising someone else’s child – Mostly, I come across fics where Harry is stuck with Teddy, especially in crossovers. I don’t want to read fics where Harry is raising someone else’s kid – I want him to be raising his OWN – his own flesh and blood. It pisses me off, when I find a story where I think Harry has a child, only to find out that it’s Teddy. Go read Nightmares in Dakota, a SPN/HP crossover. It’s a good read, but VERY disappointing! I was reading it, update after update, and I couldn’t stop thinking that it would have been an even better story if the kid had actually been his, instead of the child of a deceased friend – also his godson. This doesn’t make him an actual father in my eyes (even though, technically, adopting a kid makes you a parent) – I just can’t make the connection between parent and child when the child Harry’s raising isn’t his own.
  • Post-Hogwarts – Reading post-Hogwarts fics just don’t interest me. The main reason for this, is because: a) Harry’s usually not in an Established Relationship in post-Hogwarts fics – he’s either getting over a break-up and eventually falls for someone (usually a co-worker, Draco or Snape), whether it’s through work or while partying or “clubbing”; b) Ron/Hermione usually are married, getting married and starting a family WAY before Harry begins a relationship with someone and as previously stated, I HATE R/Hr; c) I don’t enjoy reading Harry when he’s older than 21-yo being the minimum and 25-yo being the maximum. I like mature Harry just fine, but the whole age thing bothers me – I’m a die-hard During Hogwarts Years fan. At heart, I’m still a teen, even though I’m currently 22-yo.
  • Top-Harry – If Harry is the dominate SLASH partner (the one the tops), then I will not read it. I’m a submissive/bottom-Harry only fan – I won’t read anything else, no exceptions, when reading Slash. Top/Dom Harry disgusts me.
  • Dominatrix-Females – Reading a fic where Harry is dating a chick that is a ‘dominatrix’ – enjoys whips, handcuffs, bloodplay, bondage and with-holding orgasms and whatnot – it just doesn’t do anything for me. I don’t mind a little kink (like where the female does the whole strap-on thing and fucks him instead, that’s fine – a little dominating but not overly so – you can top and not be too dominating) but not too much.
  • Female Centric Sex during Threesome – Take R/H/Hr threesomes for example. I wouldn’t actually MIND reading one, even though I’ve stated several times that I can’t stand Ron or Hermione. However, when I actually DO read one, it is usually where all of the boys’ sexual attention is on Hermione. Being the Harry-centric fan that I am, I would like to read a fic where Harry is the center focus of the attention (meaning, in the middle of the three), and NO R/Hr action or at least as very little as possible. I can’t stand when the female is the focus of the two males – it pisses me off. I love boy-on-boy action in threesomes (Harry bottoms for the other male, while at the same time is doing the chick, kind of thing, with rimming and blow jobs between Harry and the other male).
  • Fred/George Incest – Only when it’s Fred/Harry/George and they do NOT get too graphic with each other. Kissing and a little groping is fine, but they cannot fuck the other twin – sorry, but it’s just gross to read.
  • Femslash – I may be a slash-fan, but NOT femslash. I’m a straight female, and the thought of lesbian sex is disgusting. That might not bother a lot of females, even the straight ones, but it does me. A lot of Harry-slash fics have femslash in it, and it always turns me off of the story.
  • DH Epilogue-Related Fics – I hated the epilogue at the end of Deathly Hallows. Any fic that is based off of those events (the names of the children, for instant, or Ginny being a pro Quidditch player) ticks me off. Rowling does not know good names when she comes across them – Scorpius? Albus Severus? WTF?!
  • Deathly Hallows, Half-Blood Prince related fics – DH and HBP both sucked. The whole Horcrux idea was stupid and boring. I could hardly finish either one of those books – though I did, but not with a lot of difficulty. Rowling doesn’t know how to write romance – she SUCKS at romance. R/Hr? Is she really that retarded? Harry/Ginny was okay, but the way the romance was written between them in the last two books was so UNfulfilling. It lacked the romantic spark that all heroic romances inspired and created. Rowling totally missed the mark. I mean, the two didn’t even embrace or kiss or even TALK at the end of the battle in DH, if I remember right. There wasn’t much acknowledgement there at all, between the two…
  • Horcrux Idea – The fics that use the Horcrux idea and the events of HBP…Read above for the reason why.
  • Anime(Manga)/Harry Potter Crossovers – Yeah, um, I don’t watch Anime cartoons/shows, and therefore do not understand ANYTHING that happens in Naruto, Inuyasha, Bleach, Death Note, Gundam Wing, Ouran High School Host Club…blah, blah, blah, the list goes on. The Japanese names are just too much for me, and they don’t read very well as far as I am concerned (meaning, to me only, most probably) – I don’t know one character from the other, so I can’t connect them. Plus, again, the names – I can’t tell female from male, and it’s just plain ass difficult. I don’t hate Anime, I just am not interested in it. Love the Japanese culture though


That’s all I can think of, for now. There are more, MUCH more, but I can’t remember them right now. Perhaps I’ll add to the list later on, when I can think of the rest.

~Cheers, XD~

FictionAlley Rant   Leave a comment

Okay, first of all…if there are any Admins on this sight – admins or even part of the FA team – I have to tell you that your site absolutely sucks. It blows! I get that you guys have all those rules for a reason – it keeps the site clean and friendly – however, I think that you guys are anal about the slightest of things.
I mean, the only thing I do on FA is use your ‘Help! I’m Looking For…‘ threads and just the rules on there alone are enough to drive me insane. All of the threads have to be perfect, and posted a certain way:


Truly – it might be easier for people to read the posts using the FA approved format, but it’s not necessary to search and hunt down each and every post/thread that gets posted and tell them to correct their mistake. It’s completely against the rules to simply give the same of the author, the URL and then maybe a small description of the fic you’re reccing all in one paragraph or sentence – it’s simple and it’s easy. However, FA expects everyone to remember their perfect little format. You forget it and post the easy way, and they stamp a warning on your post in bold letters telling you that you did wrong and that you MUST remember.
You post too many times in a day, and they’ll drop your post count to one.

Whatever that means, honestly. I don’t even know how many times I was allowed to post to begin with – I posted three times, and they dropped my count to ONE. Sure, I might have known that had I actually read the site rules but honestly, does ANYONE read site rules? Hmm? Maybe, but I just try to learn as I go instead of sit and read through them all.

The stamps they leave on your post is visible to everyone to read. I don’t know about everyone else, but I hate having EVERYONE know when I do something wrong. It should be between you and the admins/FA team, not you, the admins and the entire site members. Only you should be able to read that bold message at the end of your post that reads:

Per the forum rules, you can only create one thread per 16 hours in this forum. As such, I have merged the threads together, and will be dropping your post count by one for the infraction.
Please make sure all posts and threads adhere to our posting policies.
for FictionAlley

This shows at the end of the posts/threads that the admins stamp (or they post their own message inside your thread, and you get the message, thinking it’s an actual post – someone that is reccing or bumping your own thread). They took two of my previously posted threads Need some Harry Potter Crossovers and Neville/Harry and combined them into ONE thread, titled Need some Harry Potter Crossovers and Neville/Harry.

Now, I would have been happy to deleted one of them (copied and pasted) so that I could re-post one of the threads after a 16hr period. All they had to do was ask me to do it, and I gladly would have. But no – it turns out that after so many hours, the thread becomes closed and you have to ask permission to edit your own damn post from the FA team or admins or someone (I don’t really know who, just someone that runs the site).

They didn’t ask me to go and edit my thread, or to delete it and re-post it later. No, they just took it upon themselves to go and combine the two. If I had wanted to have the two topics/requests in one thread, I certainly would have done so – they were, after all, posted only a few minutes apart from each other. They’re rude, even if they and others don’t see it as being rude.

They’re anal – no if’s, ands or BUTS about it. You have to have perfect grammar and spelling (and lets face it, even with a spell-check, that can come as a challenge to some people), though I understand that one well enough – I have a problem with reading poorly typed out posts myself. You have to make sure the post is perfectly formatted. You can’t have direct links to M-rated or NC-17-rated fics. You can’t really express yourself too much there, at all. Hell, I’m afraid to even get to descriptive about the kinds of fics that I’m looking for, for fear that I’ll get kicked off the damn site, as I don’t know exactly how strict they are with heavily descriptive (sexual stuff) posts. I mean, if you can’t have a direct link to M and NC-17 fics then surely you can’t get too explicit.

Basically, every time I go to the forum, I fell like I’m treading on egg shells. I feel like my every word is being monitored and I simply hate that. They’re so picky and strict.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have any problems with having a few rules and guidelines – proper grammar and spelling being one of the rules I’m pretty cool with (who likes to read a sloppy post?). It’s a lot of the other ones – the ones that they’re really, really REALLY anal about, that gets me.

If it weren’t for their Help! I’m looking For… thread, then I would never go back to the FA site. However, I often find myself having to look through the Help forum or having to post a thread on it, in search for specific fic requests. I can’t say much for their other forums and site features – I don’t publish my stories there. Tried it, but again, it frustrated me to the point where I said ‘Fuck It!’. Your stories have to be Submitted then Approved by the site’s team/admins before it actually goes through. It takes a while, and it’s just easier posting on your blogs, Fanfiction.Net and wherever else you can find to post. Sometimes one chapter will be approved and one won’t be, so you’ll have to delete it or whatever, make the corrections they tell you then re-submit the chapters. It’s just tedious and pointless, in my opinion.

Okay, sorry for this rant. I know, people are probably reading this and screaming that FA isn’t really all that bad and I’m really the anal one, getting worked up over a stupid site. Perhaps you’re right, XD. Either way, I’m pissed off and I needed to get this rant off my chest.

I’m finished, now, I think.

XD, Esprit du Coeur XD

Posted September 6, 2010 by esprit du coeur in Rants

Tagged with ,

Talking of Michelle Rodriguez   Leave a comment

Michelle Rodriguez24Michelle Rodriguez13 

Michelle Rodriguez, the epitome of a sexy Latina. At this moment, she is my dearest and biggest idol – and why wouldn’t she be? She’s gorgeous, she’s funny, and smart (self taught, if I heard correctly) as well as very, very successful in her acting career.


So, really, why wouldn’t Michelle be my idol? She’s the most real celebrity in Hollywood! She’s simply amazing!


If I am truly honest with myself, I have to say that I have a really big LESBIAN crush on this girl…She’s super hot!

Posted July 9, 2010 by esprit du coeur in Rants

Tagged with , ,

The Teddy Lupin Rant   Leave a comment

~*~Teddy Lupin Rant~*~

This is going to be a short rant, but it’s a topic that is leaving me wanting to pull my hair out whenever I read these stories and I just have to get it off my chest.

I understand that Teddy Lupin is Harry’s godson, and therefore he is Harry’s responsibility since Remus and Tonks are dead, but I’m not too fond of the Remus/Tonks relationship (it was random and came out of nowhere – one minute there is no real sign of them being together, and the next Tonks is pregnant and then they are married?), and because of that, I don’t like Teddy’s character. I know, you’re all probably wondering WHY and HOW I can have a problem with a baby, right?

Well, it’s not the fact that he’s a baby. I love babies, and I love when Harry has a baby/child. However, what I have a problem with is the fact that Teddy is not Harry’s biological child. I don’t like reading fics where Harry is taking care of a child that is not his own. I want every child Harry has to be HIS OWN child, not somebody else’s.

I go in to a fic, especially when the summary says something about Harry and an infant/small child, fully expecting the kid to be Harry’s own biological child, but instead it’s Teddy! It’s disappointing, and overly done. I can’t stand stories where he’s raising Teddy! I just don’t, not unless Harry has a kid of his own as well, which I’ve NEVER seen before.

I read a story like Nightmares In Dakota by scarletsptember, or whatever – it doesn’t really matter what fic – and while I love the story, the fact that the author chose Teddy to be Harry’s child, instead of making it so that the child was actually Harry’s. It would have made the stories ten-times more better and interesting than it was, with Teddy. I mean, in Nightmares in Dakota, Teddy doesn’t even call Harry dad, but by his name instead. If Harry is written by an author to become a dad, they could have the kid call him DAD, not Harry. I mean, really! I would hate to be called by my name, to a child I raised. It’s disrespectful, and while I understand  that Harry isn’t Teddy’s real father, and Harry wants the kid to know that Remus and Tonks are his parents and that the kid should respect his real parents, Harry should be called Dad. It’s just how it is. He adopted Teddy, so he IS his father, so he should be Dad, not Harry.

I love daddy-Harry, especially Mpreg fics (preg-Harry of course), and I would just love to read a story that has Harry as the actual biological parent to the kid he’s raising, you know? Like it was BEFORE  Deathly Hallows was published! I used to come across daddy-Harry fics on numerous occasions, but now it’s all Teddy, and that really, really sucks and is very frustrating and really pisses me off. I feel that reading stories, in which Harry has his own child, he feels more bonded with his own blood child, then he ever does with Teddy, in the stories I’ve read. He might love Teddy and think of him as his own, but I always see more of an emotional attachment to Harry and the child when they are his own, and not Teddy. Always!

I don’t even really know why J.K. Rowling thought it was necessary to have Teddy be born anyway, when she was just going to kill off both his parents in the end. I mean, sure, he is all Andromeda has left, but it was still very cruel of her to do so, and I hate her for it. I actually hate Rowling for pairing Remus and Tonks together in the first place, but whatever…I just thought that killing the two off while leaving baby Teddy orphaned was a complete over-kill and unnecessary. If Rowling was just going to kill his parents, then she shouldn’t even have written him into the book, in my opinion. Was it just to garner sympathy from Harry, and to feel bad for Teddy because he too, knew what it was like to loose his parents? Lame excuse!

After the Deathly Hallows came out, I totally lost most of my respect for Rowling. I hated, absolutely HATED Deathly Hallows, and Half-Blood Prince was so, so boring, that I couldn’t get into it as deeply as the previous five books. The fact that she killed off Fred in Deathly Hallows, and not to mention the random coupling of Remus/Tonks and Bill/Fleur. There was only a passing mention of Fleur working with Gringotts, to improve her English, but I don’t remember any of the Weasleys mentioning that Fleur and Bill were dating, until HBP, where they were so out of the blue engaged, and then quickly married in DH. Then Remus and Tonks, who I don’t remember reading anything in the books where it mentioned that they were seeing each other, and then suddenly there she is in DH, pregnant and she and Remus are married. I was completely dumbfounded and I really did ask myself, “Where the hell did that pairing come from?” It was so out of the blue that it shocked the hell out of me. Then they were killed off, leaving their infant son. It was so stupid of them to even get pregnant in the middle of a damn war in the first place. What, the wizarding war doesn’t have condoms?

Ahem…well, I think I’ll stop otherwise I’ll just keep repeating myself or I’ll confuse myself even more.

Posted July 1, 2010 by esprit du coeur in Rants

Tagged with , , , ,

Twilight/Harry Potter Crossover Rant   Leave a comment

Is it just me, or does there seem to be a shit load of Twilight/Harry Potter crossovers out there…with the same plot – Harry, Luna and Draco go to Forks, or Harry and Draco go to Forks, or even just Harry and Luna, and it’s a full on repetitive Edward/Harry, and Jacob/Draco or Jacob/Luna…?

Doesn’t that seem to be the most occuring theme with the Twilight/HP Crossovers? Damn if it isn’t getting old and annoying!

For one, I find that Jacob/Draco is really bad pairing. Actually, it’s a really annoying pairing, and rather disgusting, kind of like Ron/Hermione for me and I hate that pairng (R/Hr) with a passion. Jacob Black and Draco Malfoy have only one thing in common with each other – and that is that they both come from a family of Blacks! Completely different families, obviously, but named Black nonetheless. Authors seem to really enjoy pairing these two up for some insane reason, and it pisses me off completely.

I hate bottom-Draco, and with a Jacob/Draco pairing, he is most definitely the bottom, as there isn’t anyone, besides perhaps Emmett and the rest of the Quileute pack, that can beat Jacob’s large, massive build. Bottom-Draco’s are simply very annoying for me to read! The only person I like to read as a bottom (submissive partner) is Harry!

I don’t know why anyone would think that this pairing is okay…IT DOESN’T WORK! They’re so completely different from each other  – their lifestyle, background, and just simply the way they think. They would NEVER be able to work, in real life (never mind that it’s FANFICTION here, and that it’s not supposed to be looked at as a real life “thing”). Draco is rich, spoiled, angry, CLEAN, stuck-up and snobby, and a complete arsehole. Jacob is loud, dirty, wild, boisterous, all grins and care-free, and a  low-class MUGGLE shapeshifter. No matter how much people will argue that because the pack can turn into wolves, that means they are part of the wizarding world, it’s NOT TRUE!! They live in the muggle world, go to a muggle school and hang out with muggles and live like a muggle…THEY ARE MUGGLES!!

Draco would never tolerate Jacob and his personality and lifestyle, and Jacob in turn would be more likely to punch the blonde bastard in the nose then imprint on his ass. No…just, no. Maybe it is all of these things that make authors be like, “Yeah, they’re so opposites that they would make the best couple”, but to be, it’s not something I can comprehend. Jacob/Draco would never work, it’s an awful pairing that That is That!

As for the Jacob/Luna…

I love Luna to death, I’ll admit that. I also really love Jacob too (or maybe it’s Taylor Lautner I like, :P). However, I can’t really see Luna in a relationship with, well, anyone. Not because she’s so weird that I think nobody would want to be with her. It’s just that Luna has more of that best friend or sister material vibe, and not that girlfriend vibe.

That’s not to say that I haven’t read any Harry/Luna fics, because I have and I have enjoyed them. But, when it comes to fics where Luna is in the background, as a side character (such as Twilight/HP crossovers), she’s the sister or best friend…I can’t read her as someone’s girlfriend, at all. That probably doesn’t even make sense, lol, but that’s what I feel.

Why don’t I like Jacob/Luna? Well for one, like Jacob/Draco, it’s reaccuring theme/pairing in the Twilight/HP crossovers. Not ALL of course, but quite a few of them nonetheless. And two, because again, the vibe…I can see Luna getting close with the Quileute pack, as a new and ‘weird’ friend or even a sister-like relationship that she often has with Harry, but to have her date one of them – it’s just not very logical or likeable.

And three…well, it’s all very cliche, really. Harry, Luna and Draco move to Forks to get away from the Wizarding World, and one by one they each get ‘mates’. First it’s usually Edward and Harry…and then they meet the La Push pack and upon sight, Jacob imprints on Draco/Luna (depending on the story, but usually it’s Draco). It’s all been done before A HUNDRED TIMES!! I said, it’s all very cliche!

It’s simply annoying, when you start reading a Twi/HP fic, hoping for an original storyline, and then end up getting the same thing. It’s like reading the same fic, just with different senarios and different authors, but with the same plot just bent slight so that the authors made it their own and can’t claim theft!

Also, it’s annoying, getting into the story, and though it’s bordering on cliche and overused, it’s still okay and acceptable. For Example: Harry and his friends/pseudo family, show up in Forks, and after looking around their new house, they go to Forks High for their first day of school. There, they meet the Cullens, and soon it becomes clear that they they are vampires and that Edward has sniffed Harry out as his mate, yadda yadda yadda…But then the story goes straight downhill and right back to horribly cliche, when…They are introduced to the La Push pack, and one by one Harry’s friends (again, usually Draco or Luna), is imprinted upon…

First Harry, then Draco, then Luna or however it goes. It’s annoying because, miraculously, they ALL find mates, in the same place – Forks/La Push! I accept Harry, of course – he’s the whole reason I’m reading any of these fics – but to then go and pair the others up, that’s where it spoils badly.

I don’t even know of this little rant of mine is making any sense at all – I know what I’m trying to say, but getting it down to where it is comprensable is a little hard…

You might or might not agree with all this, but I don’t care. This is my opinion…I HATE Jacob/Draco, Cliche Twi/HP crossovers and girlfriend-Luna (unless with Harry, or maybe Neville as a really BACKGROUND pairing). She’s much better being the little sister/best friend.

Threesome Rant   4 comments

Threesome Rant – Male/Female/Male.

Warning: Crude Language!

Now, I know that this topic of rant is not true about ALL of the threesome fics out there. This rant is for all of the fics out there that are like – and trust me, there are MANY, for I have read a hell of a lot of them.

First of all, I have to let you guys know that I am a person that reads only Harry-centric fics, and I am a loyal, dedicated SLASH fan, though I enjoy reading a good het fic as well. I feel I have to mention this, otherwise those who read this and don’t like SLASH, will question why this rant is such a big deal, or why I find is a big deal. Oh, and I love threesome fics, so long as Harry is the focal point of the threesome and the middle, as I like to call it.

It is that reason (middle-Harry) that I feel I must rant about this topic…


Okay, here we go. Threesomes…Example: Ron, Harry, Hermione threesomes.

When reading threesome fics, I like SLASH to be the focal pairing or at least more so then the HET, and definitely Harry has to be the focal point of the threesome. I like reading het, too, but slash will always come first in the threesomes that I read. I want a LOT of slash action, with het being a sub-focus.

There are a lot of Golden Trio threesomes out there, and I enjoy reading those, along with other Harry-threesomes. When I do read them, I always go into the fic praying that Ron and Harry will fuck or at the very least, suck each other off. I always want Harry to bottom (in all slash fics, not just threesomes), as I have a real obsession with submissive-Harry – he can’t do anything BUT bottom, when it comes to slash. I can’t read top-Harry, it’s just wrong to me.

My perfect Trio threesome would be Ron fucking Harry, while Harry fucks Hermione – Ron/Harry/Hermione, with Harry in the very middle, receiving the most pleasure, obviously. It’s just the hottest thing to read and to picture. Ron, all 6 foot 4 and muscular, fucking Harry (5 foot 10 at the most), while Harry is being rocked, forcefully from Ron’s thrusts, into Hermione pussy. It’s just hotter then fuck.

However, what I usually end up getting in MOST of the threesome fics is Ron and Harry focusing their attention on Hermione – a Ron/Hermione/Harry, where Ron has her front and Harry her back, most likely. This does not turn me on in the LEAST.  Again, I’m a Slash-addict, and this just doesn’t do anything for me. Plus, I really hate Hermione, most of the time in fanfiction, so to have her be the focal point of both boys, when there is hardly any slash action between Ron and Harry, just really pisses me off.

It’s not just Hermione, though – even if R/Hr/H does make me the most angry, because of the fact that I hate her, and Ron/Hermione – it’s all threesomes, where the chick ends up being the focal point of the two males, one of which obviously is always Harry.

Seriously, though, I can’t be the only person that HATES IT when you get into a fic, looking and hoping for some BoyxBoyxGirl action and then realize that instead, you’re getting BoyxGirlxBoy! I can’t be the only slash-addict out there, or the only Hermione-hater or Ron/Hermione hater for that matter.

It is kind of ironic, really. I love reading Ron/Harry/Hermione threesomes, and while I love Harry above all other characters and it’s understandable here, I hate Ron AND Hermione, and especially Ron/Hermione. I simply loath the R/Hr pairing, it’s the only pairing that I will stop reading a fic over. Seriously, I will. I’ll be reading a really amazing story (Harry-centric of course), and the first sign of R/Hr, and especially before Harry is even in a relationship or even has his eyes on someone, romantically, I’ll exit the fic very fast, and be very angry about it. That pairing, R/Hr, ruins a good fic faster than anything else EVER could. REMEMBER THAT, PEOPLE!

The only time I’ll read the trio threesomes is if Harry is the focal and middle of the three. It’s the only way I can get through them. If it is a focal-Harry, bottom-Harry and middle-Harry fic, between Ron/Harry/Hermione, I’ll cry because I’d be very, very happy. However, they are very rare, I noticed, and therefore I do not read very many threesome fics.

If you know any good ones, please recommend them to me! Can be on any website – Fanfiction.Net,, Restricted, etc. Whatever, I’ll be very thankful and I’ll definitely read them. They do not have to be Ron/Harry/Hermione – they can be any threesome, so long as they are Harry-centric, and of course, he has to be the main bottom of the threesome, the middle and the focus of the threesome. It doesn’t also have to involve a female, is can be Harry and three other males as well. NO Harry and two females, though, please!